Why I Hate Home Improvement TV, v.15.7
Fitzpatrick--Why doesn’t the general public understand what a designer does or subscribe any value to our profession?
We know from L.A. Law and even Ally McBeal (for-crying-out-loud) what a lawyer does and why you might want to hire one. We know from CSI generally what forensic specialists do and from the Sopranos, how to hire a hit man and roughly how much it might cost. Everyone understands how the Dog Whisperer earns his keep.
Here’s an e-mail snippet from a production company soliciting designers for an upcoming home improvement t.v. show. It was forwarded to me in January 2006 from the American Society of Interior Designers, of which I am a professional member. (Read: a four-year interior design degree, a two-year internship; a two-day exam). While ASID wasn’t wild about the show’s concept, (“decorative in nature”) they wanted to get some of their people on it. Because they’ve done such a lame-assed job promoting our profession. Oops--started the red early. Read the production company’s concept and requirements, then read my comments in red:
MY STAR* HOME
*Names changed.
Every home decorating magazine is full of photos of glamorous rooms. No kidding? Foremost in interest for readers: the homes of their favorite celebrities. Noam Chomsky’s den? Many fans flipping through the pages of these glossy publications have dreamt of recreating one of these celebrity spaces in their own home. Truly, this country is in its Bread and Circuses stage. If you identify with a star, how cool would it be to live like one? I can’t even respond to this. If money is no object anything is possible, but if money is an object how do you replicate a million dollar room for just $3000? You don’t.
CLUELESS PRODUCTION COMPANY’S* MY STAR* HOME takes on the world of great decorating on a dime. Aren’t they infringing on someone’s TM here? In each hour-long episode we'll recreate a celebrity look-alike room on a non-look-alike budget. It's all about the shopping. I thought it was all about the design? After all, if a designer hadn't designed the original from which you intend to wantonly steal, the shopper wouldn’t have anything to shop for.
The Cast:
Our Host ... Our storyteller and orchestra leader. He's a smart guy Why no gal? with a great sense of humor and terrific story telling ability. I know this vinyl siding salesperson....Though not a designer himself, he just plays one on TV he has a great sense of what looks good, and though not a craftsman himself, he just plays one on TV he acts as a general contractor this is ILLEGAL in California, like practicing medicine without a license. Unfortunatly, you can practice design without a license all you want. More on this later. in the makeover of the subject room. He makes it all happen to the designer's specifications that's right folks, this show doesn't exist without a designer, but everyone gets paid but her and is available to go "on assignment" to help the designer get it all done in time.
Our Designer ... A team of rotating designers through the 10 episode series. She/He has the ability to look at the feel of the room to be copied and articulate the essence to homeowners and viewers alike. Plagiarizing another designer’s work is against the ASID Code of Ethics. The designer defines and specifies the necessary fabrics, furniture, colors, and accessories that define the room and shops the room "for less" while giving tips to the homeowners and viewers along the way. Most designers charge between $80-$250 per/hour. That $3,000 goes by really fast in the real world.
Our Shopper ... The go-to-go-getter... When the celebrity's bedroom features a hand carved four-poster bed, a bed that cost the star $15,000, our shopper locates and helps the designer to get a similar bed into the makeover room for well under a thousand. How? A foam and poster paint model? Ikea? Our shopper travels far and wide to auctions, thrift shops, furniture stores, and even dumpsters to find just the right piece to make the room. And all this travel and time costs what...???
THE RULES:
-6 hour shopping limit from our team's mission start of shopping until they return with all the stuff! “…travels far and wide to auctions, thrift shops, furniture stores and even dumpsters…” In six hours? A thorough dumpster dive is 30 minutes at least….
-Home-owner chooses one design from two rooms from a celebrity's home.
-Any item not in hand at the end of the time limit will not be included in the final room design.
-$3000 budget for acquisition and shipping of goods (furniture, fabrics, etc., no charge for labor THIS IS THE HEART, THE SUPREME, THE PENULTIMATE POINT. As a designer, all I have to sell is my time and my labor, but here, Clueless TV Production Company says that’s worth squat. So for the foreseeable future, I’m spending hours explaining to prospective clients why I just don’t show up and do their job for free. In six hours. or paint). Benjamin Moore should get right on that.
If you are interested in being considered as a designer for the show, NOT please send video of yourself I look like a troll but I’m a great designer, will you take me? NOT and your work along with a resume. If you don't have a video, forward a mini-portfolio, resume and photograph of yourself Troll-screening again (if selected for the next round you will do a screen test). We don’t do screen tests here at RR; the screens kept exploding. The deadline for this very tight - please send information by the first week in January to
CLUELESS PRODUCTION COMPANY
These folks are for real, and they make me and every other designer have to justify our existence on a daily basis. And our professional organization not only lays down and takes it, but is darn near in cohoots.
I’m going to pour myself a stiffy and just bawl.
We know from L.A. Law and even Ally McBeal (for-crying-out-loud) what a lawyer does and why you might want to hire one. We know from CSI generally what forensic specialists do and from the Sopranos, how to hire a hit man and roughly how much it might cost. Everyone understands how the Dog Whisperer earns his keep.
Here’s an e-mail snippet from a production company soliciting designers for an upcoming home improvement t.v. show. It was forwarded to me in January 2006 from the American Society of Interior Designers, of which I am a professional member. (Read: a four-year interior design degree, a two-year internship; a two-day exam). While ASID wasn’t wild about the show’s concept, (“decorative in nature”) they wanted to get some of their people on it. Because they’ve done such a lame-assed job promoting our profession. Oops--started the red early. Read the production company’s concept and requirements, then read my comments in red:
MY STAR* HOME
*Names changed.
Every home decorating magazine is full of photos of glamorous rooms. No kidding? Foremost in interest for readers: the homes of their favorite celebrities. Noam Chomsky’s den? Many fans flipping through the pages of these glossy publications have dreamt of recreating one of these celebrity spaces in their own home. Truly, this country is in its Bread and Circuses stage. If you identify with a star, how cool would it be to live like one? I can’t even respond to this. If money is no object anything is possible, but if money is an object how do you replicate a million dollar room for just $3000? You don’t.
CLUELESS PRODUCTION COMPANY’S* MY STAR* HOME takes on the world of great decorating on a dime. Aren’t they infringing on someone’s TM here? In each hour-long episode we'll recreate a celebrity look-alike room on a non-look-alike budget. It's all about the shopping. I thought it was all about the design? After all, if a designer hadn't designed the original from which you intend to wantonly steal, the shopper wouldn’t have anything to shop for.
The Cast:
Our Host ... Our storyteller and orchestra leader. He's a smart guy Why no gal? with a great sense of humor and terrific story telling ability. I know this vinyl siding salesperson....Though not a designer himself, he just plays one on TV he has a great sense of what looks good, and though not a craftsman himself, he just plays one on TV he acts as a general contractor this is ILLEGAL in California, like practicing medicine without a license. Unfortunatly, you can practice design without a license all you want. More on this later. in the makeover of the subject room. He makes it all happen to the designer's specifications that's right folks, this show doesn't exist without a designer, but everyone gets paid but her and is available to go "on assignment" to help the designer get it all done in time.
Our Designer ... A team of rotating designers through the 10 episode series. She/He has the ability to look at the feel of the room to be copied and articulate the essence to homeowners and viewers alike. Plagiarizing another designer’s work is against the ASID Code of Ethics. The designer defines and specifies the necessary fabrics, furniture, colors, and accessories that define the room and shops the room "for less" while giving tips to the homeowners and viewers along the way. Most designers charge between $80-$250 per/hour. That $3,000 goes by really fast in the real world.
Our Shopper ... The go-to-go-getter... When the celebrity's bedroom features a hand carved four-poster bed, a bed that cost the star $15,000, our shopper locates and helps the designer to get a similar bed into the makeover room for well under a thousand. How? A foam and poster paint model? Ikea? Our shopper travels far and wide to auctions, thrift shops, furniture stores, and even dumpsters to find just the right piece to make the room. And all this travel and time costs what...???
THE RULES:
-6 hour shopping limit from our team's mission start of shopping until they return with all the stuff! “…travels far and wide to auctions, thrift shops, furniture stores and even dumpsters…” In six hours? A thorough dumpster dive is 30 minutes at least….
-Home-owner chooses one design from two rooms from a celebrity's home.
-Any item not in hand at the end of the time limit will not be included in the final room design.
-$3000 budget for acquisition and shipping of goods (furniture, fabrics, etc., no charge for labor THIS IS THE HEART, THE SUPREME, THE PENULTIMATE POINT. As a designer, all I have to sell is my time and my labor, but here, Clueless TV Production Company says that’s worth squat. So for the foreseeable future, I’m spending hours explaining to prospective clients why I just don’t show up and do their job for free. In six hours. or paint). Benjamin Moore should get right on that.
If you are interested in being considered as a designer for the show, NOT please send video of yourself I look like a troll but I’m a great designer, will you take me? NOT and your work along with a resume. If you don't have a video, forward a mini-portfolio, resume and photograph of yourself Troll-screening again (if selected for the next round you will do a screen test). We don’t do screen tests here at RR; the screens kept exploding. The deadline for this very tight - please send information by the first week in January to
CLUELESS PRODUCTION COMPANY
These folks are for real, and they make me and every other designer have to justify our existence on a daily basis. And our professional organization not only lays down and takes it, but is darn near in cohoots.
I’m going to pour myself a stiffy and just bawl.
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